Exile

At the fall of evening, the light inside my heart dims.
And the nightly vigil of pain and suffering begins.
Those thoughts I cherish so much flood the dam.
While I hope that I never forget the person I am.

Without a guide to these uncharted waters I get lost.
No rhyme or reason to abandon the love I tossed.
Amidst the storm I see the jaws of fate open wide.
As my ship gets rushed through, waking me up inside.

I can do many things and rebuke what you may take.
Because everlasting strength if born from this heartbreak.
While you're living your fantasy life I'm simply counting time.
But what else can I do other than write and stand in line?

Your deep nod agreed that I throw myself in exile.
Because it is my face that you will eternally revile.
While you can have all your smiles and sunshines afar.
Life is not like this because this isn't who we are.

Warfare

The death toll is fleeting in this field of violence.
A skirmish is waged at every moment of silence.
The drums of war call my darkness and my light.
Watch them clash all throughout the long night.

The earth disappeared beneath the sea of corpses.
And yet both sides still appear to have infinite forces.
I do my best to maintain diplomacy amidst the fire.
I do so all throughout the night until the morning I tire.

It brings me much pain to know these fights never end.
Because at one point these sides were just wills I could bend.
The war has yet to reach the the surface of my exterior.
I can only hope that in the end I can prove myself superior.

Hope is fading in this vying for who is wrong and right.
And today it is only the dead whom will answer my plight.
Warfare will rage on for the rest of my life.
But I will do what I can to end this eternal strife.

Nexus

I wandered out too far and I read unforgiving books
The information I discovered shattered strong rooks.
My very soul felt the strike of my unveiled truth.
And for a time I was afraid to seek further proof.

I stumbled as a walking pillar of hopeless sorrow.
Knowing that I would not be painless until tomorrow.
My surface shines but at the same time my insides rot.
The great man that I once was has only been forgot.

With my own hands I would struggle to defend my sanity.
As I began to, in her eyes, lose more and more vanity.
But there are many ways to recover -- a great variety.
A mask, a sprint, a jump, and my very own sobriety.

Armed with no heart to call my own, I stood no chance.
But I did not running away, I did not squander my glance.
Although I had no hope of winning, I made my last stand.
Who knew? I came out alive with a reward most grand.

I deployed the last of my ordinance in this psychological war.
But only to realize that I had become the hypocritical whore.
So I lowered my weapons and stopped the fighting.
I took the pen, opened to a clean page and started writing.

I was wrong to overlook my mistakes and faults.
I was wrong to lock away her heart's fragments in vaults.
I was wrong to think that I had a chance to win her back.
I was wrong to think that her daily tasks were a personal attack.

I learned to accept the punishment I deserve for my folly.
I learned to expect excruciating levels of pain by the volley.
I learned to come to terms that my own happiness can be evident.
I learned to smile because as long as she is happy, I am ever so content.

Pandora's Box

I wear the mask of "everything will be okay."
I turn against my true feelings everyday.
I jump to conclusions and remove the mask.
Revealing all the questions I come to ask.

I tell her that I will support her every act.
I shed a tear as the quill signed the pact.
To lock away my emotions to Pandora's box.
Time beyond time despises this very paradox.

Reality's blades are ripping away my wings.
Invading the hope that my new life brings.
Help me God for I am running low on power.
As I climb to the top of this endless tower.

The mask covers the face that Pandora hides.
Behind it there are laws to which he never abides.
The perfect front will fool everybody but him.
As my emotions will become slaves to his every whim.

I wish I could love again but Pandora says I will not.
Because inside the prison of this mask I will rot.
It will be useless if I struggle or try to break free.
Because nobody on the other side will ever hear me.

Pandora will tell them that I am only an insane, mad man.
And they will all believe him as much as they possibly can.
So I remain sealed away in his box behind the mask.
Pandora will answer your questions now, so feel free to ask.

Twilight Dream

Struggling for happiness I trudge forward.
The avoidance of sadness I run toward.
My body wants to feel and embrace Corruption.
As it sways to the music under conduction.

Though I feel bitter stings in my heart.
It won't be mistakes that take me apart.
I'm half the man I was yesteryear.
Three quarters don't subvert my greatest fear.

As the dice reveal that unconditional love is dead.
I sought that water in long dried leaves instead.
As the twenty-sided landed on a one.
We drowned our eyes after it was done.

In my exile, I sought to find sage advice.
To figure out why I was punished but only thrice.
My answers revealed to me a special peace of mind.
A peace where I settled for the Hell in which I dined.

It makes me smile to know that she'll be fine.
As I focus on the greater betterment of mine.
I push and I push as my steps become inert.
As the darkest corruption inside me will subvert.

The darkness cannot take me from the light.
But the darkness will prevent it from impairing my sight.
As we push toward our goals in this coaster ride.
I'll be happy enough to know that inside, I tried.

In between those absolutes I fight with clarity.
As I dabble in old virtues of chivalry and charity.
I've become clear once again in this age.
As I administer my heart a potent triage.

I am not the light and I am not the dark.
I am the gray area in the journey which I embark.
I will not be clouded by the contrast or the bright.
I am the bringer of balance; I am the twilight.

Father

You were there beside me when the sun struck ground.
You told me stories; you showed me around.
You gave color to my empty shade of gray.
You always thought of me even while I was away.

Your sage wisdom gave way to my inspiration.
Especially in darkest hours of our extended separation.
When I'm away from home I apply all that I've learned.
While I crossed those bridges as behind me they burned.

You are the very example that honor is not dead.
But a testament that there is truth amidst the lies we are fed.
Between happy and sad, you were there to tip the scales.
For the good of all of us, you paved truly remarkable trails.

Look at me still talking when there's much to do.
For at least today I'm glad to be here with you.
Though sometimes I'm rash and sometimes I'm a bother.
I'm sure everyone agrees that you're a pretty awesome father.

Cain

And yet we strike back at the highest tier,
With steadied resolve struck like a spear.
The darkness gets banished by our inner light.
As long as the epiphany remains true, we will fight.

See how our power soars and watch it fly.
While we dream sweet dreams of Lucy in the sky.
We shed our black drapes of despair.
And don the white vestments of repair.

As the entanglements of our misery unravel.
We sort out the disorganization of this drabble.
The beam flashes, the enemies flee in terror.
As we work to fix our sad, once-fatal error.

Low are their resources and high are the takes.
We won't mess up, we won't make mistakes.
We're not alone, there is more to this.
We're together, something is amiss.

We will rise up and take back what is ours.
Before my bridge burns, before my love sours.
Allow the lesser people turn their backs and leave.
But I won't go until you find absolute reprieve.

This is the age where there are no more lies.
This is the age that the lows become pleasant highs.
I'll make it out of this with your hand in mine.
Neither of us will fall back and be left behind.

The Old Playlist

It's been a whole year of something.
And yet I feel like I have accomplished nothing.
Lines were crossed, hands were held.
Feeings lost, love was failed.

Yesterday we broke the rules.
Today we were complete fools.
Tomorrow we lose that old flame.
And we bring color to our honest name.

The light of day blots out the dark.
We aborted the journey on which I now embark.
This is not how my life is written.
As I mend the heart they have smitten.

I had the comfort of friend, faith, and wealth.
But today I have the emptiness of poor health.
Drained everyday I miss our old comfort.
As I perform every remaining concert.

I was greeted in the morning by love.
Like there was an actual god up above.
But at night, when I can think this through.
In lieu of sleep, I can't find better things to do.

Today I'm greeted by feeling lonely.
No god, home is now much less homely.
Back then I slept so comfortably, so easily.
Now I'm plagued by indifference heavily.

When it will stop, I will never know.
Hoping that the love I plant will grow.
Just tell me if I'm making progress please.
Doing so will put my wounded mind at ease.

As I listen to that old playlist, I cry.
From its solemn lyrics my wounds dry.
Thinking of the way things were before the year's turn.
I remember those unforgettable things in which we burn.

A New Age

Conflict is out on the desolate street.
Playing useless tracks on eternal repeat.
They bang on our doors to give us personal cancer.
But I'd rather shut them out and give them no answer.

We crossed the sea of emptiness.
Overshot our own readiness.
Placed hope in the hands of time.
As we left all the bad far, far behind.

So I look back toward the ocean.
And begin setting my plan into motion.
We're new people in a fresh new age.
We're ex-slaves breaking out of our cage.

We aim to make true our dreams of fiction.
But nevermore for that absolute contradiction.
In this new age, only good comes from a new day.
Cuffing hands, fulfilling kisses, taking stress away.

Some things you don't forget.
Sometimes we wallow in regret.
But when we embrace, your heart is set free.
Tomorrow is another day that we will see.

Together we are, again, one and the same.
I'll no longer black my once honest name.
And I'll be able to sleep at night.
As tomorrow we fight the good fight.

We'll rebuild this building, this old home.
We'll make things right in steady metronome.
I'm sick of wishing; so I make it true.
I wished upon a new age for me and you.

In this age we'll be happy once again.
And we'll forgive each other of old sin.
We'll hold our hands in remembrance of this.
And soak in the comfort of every last kiss.

Elevator

That night I stroked her face one last time.
Again it sent cold shivers down my battered spine.
I wanted my lips to show her how much I truly loved her.
The inability to do so ripped and tore my heart asunder.

We were separated for the longest month in my life.
A month marking off days on my arms with a knife.
I missed her so much that today I'm very silent.
I wished that I hadn't gotten so wicked and violent.

Her lips are the poison and the cure.
Yet it's feeling only feels very pure.
It pains me to feel rejection.
But I deserve it upon reflection.

I fight and struggle against the coming storm.
Simply being close to her alone makes me feel warm.
Despite the warmth there's a disconnection.
Slowing the molecules of the loving convection.

I know she loves me but at times it's so hard to read.
Being damaged goods it's not easy to know what we need.
I am sorely troubled with wonders of what hides in store.
This is the elevator of my soul; there's room for one more.

There's room for one more...